21 Shocking Facts

21 Shocking Facts 18 Weeks of Pregnancy Has Taught Me:
(An accurate, sometimes comical, view of my pregnancy so far)

1) Morning Sickness is way worse than "they" say it will be. Imagine the nastiest stomach flu/food poisoning/hangover you have ever had- now picture all that coupled with motion sickness for over 3 months straight- sometimes 24/7, sometimes only 2 hours a day. Riding in a car makes it worse. I've tried everything- from folk and natural remedies (crackers, SeaBands accupressure bracelets, gingersnaps, Preggie Pops, sour candies, lemon, ginger ale, ginger tea, sprite, vitamin B6, etc) to expensive prescriptions (Phenergan, Zofran, Unisom/Vitamin B6 combos). Some products make it better (Zofran actually lets me eat and function socially on a short-term basis), but I have found no "cure for the queasies." Time makes it less frequent, it seems.

2) According to my OBGYN, all gender prediction Old Wives' Tales are correct 50% of the time (the same average as just "guessing the sex," since there are only two options- boy or girl). They are fun to hear- and keep the suspense going. With today's technology, the highest accuracy ratings for gender prediction are: a) anatomy ultrasounds after the 18 week, and b) fetal dna tests (can be done any time during the pregnancy, but have a small miscarriage risk).

3) Little to no social life (see #1).

4) Pain is normal. No one or nothing could have prepared me for the innocuous aches, cramps, and ouches- stabbing or dull- of gestational "growing pains."

5) Everything smells. Actually, everything stinks. The most nausea-inducing scents are smoke, fish or poultry cooking, unwashed dishes, cars (inside and outside), and trash.

6) My body grows or moves! I was prepared for the tummy getting bigger, but my hip bones have shifted (clothes fit me funny), my foot bones have spread (shoes tighter), and my nasal cavities and gums are swollen (occasional nose bleeds and pink toothbrush).

7) Porn Star Boobs! And they continue to grow every day! I was pretty happy with my God-given amount, but not only have my breasts grown an entire size so far, they are sporting blue veins under the skin too! In fact, pretty much my whole body looks like a road map of varicose veins (increasing blood flow to the baby).

8) Peeing. All the time.

9) Forgetfulness. I was gonna write more about this topic, but I can't remember what I was gonna say...

10) Pregnancy gas is more toxic than carbon monoxide. I feel sorry for my hubby and my cats.

11) Sex Drive. What sex drive? You try having gas, nausea, and growing body parts for 18 weeks and see how desirable you feel.

12) Hot. I am Hot. AC is a must.

13) Google, Internet sites, and books can be frightening. Although they are great quick-reference guides for those weird, middle-of-the-night symptoms, I can't tell you how many times I was afraid I had some odd, 3rd world pregnancy disease. The What to Expect When You're Expecting book, although it lists its share of scary pregnancy-induced illnesses, is a definite necessity for the first-time mother. Easy to read and very informative.

14) Strangers are noisy. They love to give unsolicited advice, criticism, and gender predictions to pregnant women. I actually haven't heard this yet , but if I hear, "Your butt got big; you must be carrying a boy," I may smack someone. This actually happened to a pregnant friend of mine. My butt was full to begin with, thank you very much.

15) Dreams are both vivid and odd when pregnant. For both Michael and myself actually. Technicolor tots run around black and white playgrounds licking blue lollipops. Creepy.

16) Standing for longer than 10 minutes at a time may increase dizziness, breathlessness, fatigue, and mild edema.

17) Baby clothes, toys, necessities, and furniture are all the cutest things in the world. Michael and I love getting gift cards so we can go to stores and fantasize about what we are gonna buy for the baby after our registry has been picked over. So exciting!

18) Hemorrhoids. Enough said.

19) Feminine issues. Enough said.

20) Skin, hair, and nails have never looked better. But I do get occasional skin redness and itching from time to time on my arms and legs.

21) Miscarriages are hard physically and emotionally. No matter how many babies one starts out with, no matter how far along one is, no matter how many losses one has had, no matter how common it is. No matter what.

**Disclaimer: This is my pregnancy experience. All pregnancies are different. All women experience different symptoms and for different lengths of time. Example: my own mother, who was pregnant 3 times with 1 girl and 2 boys only had a total of 2 weeks morning sickness in her second pregnancy. She loved being pregnant and had few negative symptoms. And then she had 3 different birth experiences- epidural/drugs, C-section, and natural.**